New research from The Open University reveals that parents of children with ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions are struggling to find the support they need — and many feel completely alone in doing so. If that sounds familiar, here’s what the research says, and what actually helps.
The research: overwhelmed and under-resourced
Earlier this year, The Open University surveyed 1,000 UK parents of neurodivergent children. The findings were stark. While 70% said they had somewhere to turn for advice, only one in four (25%) actually felt confident in the sources they were using. The same number — 25% — described feeling overwhelmed, with mothers particularly affected.
Nearly 1 in 5 parents said they always have to go looking for help themselves. No one points the way. No one hands them a map. And 96% said they would find a single, reliable resource genuinely useful. There are SEND support agencies within the local government sphere to help such as SENDIASS but the demand is high and the approach is advice and time limited support.
If you’re parenting a child with ADHD, none of this will surprise you. You probably already know what it feels like to spend hours sifting through conflicting advice online, to be dismissed by a GP or reassured that school can help and hear at school that there are many children in a worse place than your child or that they are doing just fine.
Why parenting a child with ADHD is so hard
ADHD is not just about attention. For many children it involves emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, sleep problems, difficulty with transitions, and a profound sensitivity to rejection and criticism. These things don’t switch off when you get home. They shape family life — meals, mornings, homework, bedtime — every single day. Parents often report that their young people can function well enough at school but it is when they get home, when they struggle.
Parents often describe a slow erosion of confidence. You try the strategies you’ve read about. Some work for a while. Others don’t. Your child’s needs change as they grow and parents report that some basic expected milestones such as cleaning teeth, showering, bag packing for school are still not established in the early teens causing angst and conflict in the family! School adds new pressures. And all the time, you’re managing your own reactions, your own exhaustion, and often the impact on siblings and your co-parent relationship too.
Research consistently shows that parents of children with ADHD experience significantly higher levels of stress, anxiety and low mood than parents of neurotypical children. Yet this is rarely the focus of professional attention. The child gets the assessment. The child gets the support plan. But what about the parent who is holding everything together at home? Whilst we might feel let down by others we worry most that we are letting our kids down when we see them struggle. We ask ourselves: could we have done more? Should we have spotted signs earlier? Are we good enough parents for this child? We beat ourselves up with our mistakes- getting cross, saying ‘Not now or not again’ and more.
The gap in professional support
A separate piece of research from For Baby’s Sake found that 50% of parents report a rise in their own mental health challenges since becoming a parent — stress, anxiety, depression. Yet the majority said no professional had ever asked them directly how they were coping.
This gap is even starker for fathers and non-primary carers. Many dads tell us they feel invisible in the system — expected to cope, rarely offered support, and sometimes not even invited into the conversations about their child’s needs.
The result is that parents are left to figure things out largely on their own, piecing together advice from NHS websites, school SENCOs, Facebook groups, and whatever they can find via a late-night Google search.
What trusted organisations say
The Anna Freud Centre — one of the UK’s leading children’s mental health charities — has published guidance specifically for parents and carers of children with ADHD. They acknowledge directly that parenting a child with ADHD “can be challenging due to the intensity of their behaviours” and that it is “likely to be tiring and draining.” Crucially, they emphasise that it is important to look after yourself during this time and ask for help when needed — recognising that parental wellbeing is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.
Their guidance covers how to talk to schools, how to explain ADHD to siblings and extended family, and how to build routines that help rather than frustrate. It’s a useful starting point — and it reinforces something we see every day in our work at Atrium: parents who understand their child’s condition, and who have support themselves, make an enormous difference to how their child does.
What actually helps
With the right support, things do get better — both for your child and for you. Research points to a few things that make a real difference:
- Understanding your child’s specific ADHD profile. ADHD presents differently in every child. Getting to know how it shows up for your child — their particular challenges and strengths — is the foundation for everything else. That profile changes as your child develops and it is worth closely monitoring and adapting to new priorities for your child.
- Building structure that works for an ADHD brain. This isn’t about rigid routines. It’s about creating predictability and reducing the points of friction that cause the biggest flashpoints. Further, it’s about supporting your young person to learn with you about their ADHD and become their own coach as they move into adulthood.
- Managing your own stress. Parents who get support for their own wellbeing are better placed to support their children. This isn’t selfishness — it’s strategy. Learn more about ADHD and be compassionate to your own responses.
- Not fighting the school battle alone. Navigating EHCPs, SEND support or a lack of it, and teacher relationships is genuinely complex. Having someone who knows the system on your side makes an enormous difference.
- Connecting with others who get it. Isolation is one of the most damaging parts of parenting a child with ADHD. Knowing you are not the only one, and hearing what has worked for other families, matters.
How Atrium Clinic can help
At Atrium Clinic, we work with parents of children with ADHD across the UK. Our specialist parent support service is designed for families who are doing their best in a system that often lets them down. We have worked in SEND type services, supported schools and parents and trained other agencies to support young people with ADHD. Moreover, the parenting team also have their own lived experience of supporting their children with ADHD and other neurodivergence. We know that we are only human and we are always learning with our young person as we go.
We offer private, online sessions — so you can access support from home, at a time that works around your commitments. We start by listening. Then we help you build a practical, personalised plan for your family — whether that means strategies for home, help navigating school, support for your own wellbeing, or all three.
Together we can understand your situation and support you through the challenges as they arise, mindful that you know your child best. You just need to make the call.
